Drawing for Yourself

Last year I had a lull in project/ commission work and that presented the perfect opportunity to work on my personal goal, working towards making something of my own personal art. But despite years of drawing everyday, my art still didn’t feel like me yet and I didn’t have anything I would expect anyone to like that had been a “personal” drawing.

I had spent two years doing commissions and then working on the books, which were brilliant experiences. The commissions were not yet in a style that felt reflective of me and projects were under a specified style, but they developed two major things. My ability to draw anything I needed to, and helped me to explore what I enjoyed and what I did not.

By the time I came out of doing commissions I was craving time to do my own personal art, make my own characters, be completely creative. At the beginning this freedom to draw anything was dizzing. I could draw anything? So what do I even draw?

I went back to basics, what I would do when I was younger. What was I enjoying right now? Draw it. A game character, a nature scene, fairies, some random girl off Pinterest. It didn’t really matter, so long as I was drawing.

From here I would look back and begin to realise what wasn’t working for me. Oh my colours are a bit all over the place from piece to piece. This doesn’t feel right but I can’t put my finger on it, maybe I should learn more about composition. My characters feel boring, just like people, learn about character design.

Then one day I’d do a drawing, look back a few days later and realise, hm this looks alright you know. But why? I’d reflect and realise - hey I’m actively considering composition even with a quick sketch, or that kind of looks like the golden circle rule composition or simply the drawing is kept within a clear shape, e.g. a circle.

I was drawing for 2-3 minimum hours a day, which wasn’t a major shift in my drawing habits since 2021. But the way I used those 2-3 hours has evolved.

As I was creating art for myself, I felt more attached to the subject and therefore knew when things ‘didn’t feel right’ to me, pushing me to go back and redo things or reflect more. When you do commissions of a couple or an aunt for a gift for someone, you of course care that it comes out in the way they imagined and wanted it, but it’s not emotionally tied to you. Thereby, you get less opportunity to go back and revise things because you don’t know that aunt, in addition you are trying to reflect the ‘vibe’ of your client, not your own. Therefore unless they need revisions, if you are meeting the spec, you get less time to develop a piece and thereby your approach may continue to follow a pattern. I still followed my typical rule set that helped and still helps me today - set goals of work on a stage a day: sketch, lineart, colour block, render, finish. If you do more, then awesome, I’m feeling inspired, if not, we carry on tomorrow.

However, without deadlines as I was working on my personal art, I had more time to leave things to settle in my brain too. I’d take better breaks, come back, realise my mistakes and allow myself the time to fix them. (This is a major thing I talk about at drawing workshops I teach).

This break from time constrained work and focus on drawing this I loved had created space for my art to evolve and in the end I’m now much happier with my style. I’ve always liked my style, and not to say I wasn’t evolving whilst doing time constrained work on subjects that weren’t personal to me, but it proved to me that having the freedom of time makes me more creative and drawing things you care about really helps evolve your style.

It is worth noting I was in a position that having time off commissions and projects did not impact me as I have my full time job to support me.

All this to say, if you haven’t taken time to draw for yourself recently, and can find the time, I recommend it. Draw something you love, no matter how whimsical or silly or moody etc it is, it’ll probably make you feel a bit better.

(images attached, my OC before I had a year to focus on my own style, my OC after)